We are still at war
by GemmGemm
Summary: Story five in my mage Lavellan/Cullen series. The battle at Adamant Fortress from Cullen's POV. Attacking the fortress itself and his reaction to The Inquisitor being trapped in the fade.


They were as ready as they were ever going to be, Cullen knew that. They had superior fire power, more men, the support of the local nobles. Their plan was a good one and this mission was vital in their attempt to stop Corypheus. Every contingency imaginable had been planned for.

He knew all that too.

He'd done everything right.

They were ready, damn it.

So then why had a ball of lead taken the place of his stomach? Why were his palms sweating inside his gloves? Why didn't he feel any better about this?

The highest peaks of Adamant Fortress were just visible over the next hill, they'd be there soon. The tension was palatable, the loyal men and women behind him were eager to go. He'd trained them well and moral was high. For them, this couldn't come fast enough. They'd seen their Herald pull off the impossible before, surely she would do it again. It wasn't even in question. What was a fortress full of Grey Wardens compared to staring down an archdemon and a magister God? They couldn't imagine anything but a glorious triumph. He wished he could say the same.

Pushing his mount ahead he left the army behind as he crested the rise to see Adamant Fortress laid out before him. The fortress itself was relatively small but the records had revealed it was dwarven built and the dwarves build their structures to last. It had been abandoned for years beyond counting, home only to the darkspawn that dragged themselves from the Abyssal Rift, but still it stood, as removable as ever. And they were going to try and breach it.

The gates were closed and torches lit the battlements.

They were ready too.

The sound of hooves alerted him to the fact he wasn't alone but he didn't take his eyes from the view as Ellana halted her horse beside him. She hadn't been happy about attacking The Warden stronghold, even among the Dalish, The Wardens were classed as heroes. It was an unfortunate necessity however. If Corypheus was working through them, they had to be stopped. The soldiers were under strict instructions to take prisoners whenever possible, something the men had been very relieved to hear. The last Blight wasn't so long ago that people had forgotten how The Wardens had saved them.

It seemed a cruel twist of fate that the battle would take place here. At one time Adamant fortress had stood as a symbol of The Wardens fight against the darkspawn. Griffon's had filled the aeries and protected The Western Approach. When The Wardens had left Ferelden in disgrace the symbol had changed, Adamant had been left as a reminder of The Wardens' decline.

"Taking this fortress is going to get a lot of good soldiers killed." Ellana broke the silence with a sigh,

"It'll be hard fought, no way around that. But we'll get that gate open." He replied with a surety he didn't feel. Glancing behind them he saw Cassandra, Blackwall and Varric had stopped a respectful distance away, allowing them a few moments of privacy. Cullen had wanted her to take her full team with her but she'd argued that if something happened to delay them it made more sense to have three smaller teams. It had done nothing to help the tension in his stomach, but he couldn't fault her logic. She would lead one team with Cassandra, Blackwall and Varric, The Iron Bull had Vivienne and Sera leaving Solas with Dorian and Cole.

"It'll be alright." She said firmly.

"I know it will." He lied. Cullen looked over at her then, taking in the clenched jaw, the too stiff line of her neck and shoulders. The nervous movement of her fingers that only he seemed to ever notice.

She was lying too.

He wanted to tell her not to go, to take him with her to guard her back. He wanted to tell her that kissing her on the battlements had felt like coming home. But he didn't. This wasn't the place for words like that. So instead they told their lies and wore their masks, The Inquisitor and The Commander.

"Fire!" Cullen hollerred, an order that was echoed down the line. A moment later and the air was filled with dozens of boulders, launched into the air by their trebuchets. Troops immediately reloaded as the inhabitants of Adamant Fortress scrambled to defend themselves against an assault they were woefully unprepared for. The structure had been built long before the invention of siege equipment; something Cullen was planning on taking full advantage of. Lines in their defence were breaking as buttresses crumbled, their archers and mages out of range.

"Fire!" Cullen shouted again. All they needed to do was break their defences enough so they could breach the walls. Glancing over his shoulder he could see the troops with ladders ready to go. To his left stood the battering ram for the gate, Ellana and her team ready to charge with them, "Be ready with the ladders." He ordered the lieutenant next to him, a flurry of movement caught his eye as the message was passed down the line. He signalled the battering ram; one more volley.

"Fire!" He called a final time. The moment the last boulder hit he gave the signal and the army poured over the hill behind him with a cry loud enough to be heard over the crumbling fortress. Ladders were thrown against walls and the troops were climbing them within seconds. Archers covered them from the ground, firing up into The Grey Warden forces. They were too late to prevent the Wardens from summoning some demons; Cullen could see them moving along the peaks of the walls, pushing ladders and their men back to the ground. Each death felt like a failure but Cullen forced himself to focus. There would be time to mourn later, if they pulled back now then all was lost. All they could do was hope there had not yet been time for the full demon army to be summoned.

With The Grey Warden defences focused on the walls they now had a path to the gate. He raised his sword in Ellana's direction, each of her team grabbed a handle and helped the troops roll the battering ram and they charged. They had their orders, protect the battering ram at all costs. They _had_ to get that gate open. The distraction had worked, the main entrance was fairly unprotected until they got within range. Rocks started raining down on them while Cullen held his breath, just another few seconds and they'd be in. He saw them hit the doors and the wood began to splinter. Another attack and the gates buckled. One more and they were through. Ellana and her team stormed inside, he caught up just as they cleared the demons at the entrance hall.

"Alright Inquisitor, you have your way in, best make use of it. We'll keep the main host of demons occupied as long as we can."

She raised an eyebrow at him, "There's startling lack of specificity there Commander."

"There's rather more than we were expecting."

"You don't say." She said. Keeping her jaunty smile firmly in place, her voice dropped as she said seriously, "I'll be fine. Just keep the men safe."

"We'll do what we have to, Inquisitor. Warden Stroud will guard your back. Hawk is with our soldiers on the battlements, she's assisting them until you arrive" A cry went up as a ladder fell from the ramparts and Cullen let out a growl of frustration, "There's too much resistance on the walls. Our men on the ladders can't get a foothold." He swallowed hard, the last thing he wanted to do was put her in even more danger but unless they got men up there she'd be facing an entire fortress of Grey Wardens and demons alone. "If you can clear out the enemies on the battlements we'll cover your advance." He let his fingers ghost over hers under the pretence of saluting her over his chest, dropping his voice to a whisper he said, "Please be careful." She nodded once, her eyes asking the same of him before he turned to run back to take his place among the men.

Cullen could track Ellana's movements along the battlements by watching the progress of the troops. More and more ladders were finding purchase and their soldiers were pouring over the walls. Runners had brought reports of Warden warriors and rogues joining the Inquisitions forces, helping them push back the waves of demons. It looked as though the tides were beginning to turn. Most of the fighting was now taking place inside the fortress, phase one of their battle plan was almost complete. Cullen allowed himself just a moment to hope that maybe it would work out after all. He even managed to find a small smile for Krem when he approached with some of The Bulls Chargers in tow,

"Sir, ready to head inside and kick some demon ass?"

"Almost," he replied, "Let me just-"

Krem never found out what Cullen's last minute preparations were. The roar of the dragon drowned out even the sound of the battle. It's screech turned his blood to ice and froze him in place. They watched as it circled the castle before perching on the highest tower. It was Haven all over again. When it blasted fire over the roof and ramparts Cullen's paralysis broke and he sprinted for the gate. It wasn't until he ran into the first demon in the entrance hall that he even realised Krem and The Chargers were directly behind him. Only a few stragglers remained, the Inquisition forces and Grey Wardens had everything well in hand and waved Cullen on, directing him to the fastest route to the roof.

As he reached the first flight of stairs he saw Dorian, Solas and Cole barrelling toward him. Without breaking stride Dorian fell in at his side,

"I told her to take me with her!" He shouted over the din,

"Yeah, so did I." Cullen replied grimly and increased his pace.

They broke out onto the roof and it was chaos. His own men and The Wardens were battling demons that had come through a rift on a dais in the centre of the room, as well as the ones already summoned by the Warden mages. He scanned the area, praying for a flash of silver hair and finding none. His stomach clenched painfully, his heart hammering in his ears. Over everyone's heads he spotted The Iron Bull swinging his huge two handed axe, desperately trying to make his way across the room. Dodging around the demons he headed for Bull,

"Where are they?" He hollerred. Bull switched the weapon to one hand and pointed over Cullen's shoulder before swinging his axe over both of them to take out two more demons that were closing in. A broken bridge towered above them, Ellana and her team at one end with the dragon at the other, blocking their exit. The dragon was stalking towards them, they had nowhere to go. Bull grabbed his shoulder, he'd cleared a path through the fighting. With the others hot on his heels Cullen ran for the stairs. They reached the bridge just as the dragon leapt. A streak of lightning hit it from below and the dragon fell. It careened off the edge, taking the already broken bridge with it. Ellana and her squad had somehow avoided the dragon but they couldn't escape the fact that the path they were on was crumbling faster than they could run. Panicked violet eyes locked on his for a split second, but before Cullen could take more then a few steps the bridge fell away beneath Ellana and the others. Screams echoed in his ears as they vanished from sight. Where just seconds before his heart and been pounding in his chest now it felt like it had stopped entirely. He sprinted to the edge. A bright flash of green appeared as he reached the precipice, with Dorian and Bull right beside him.

Nothing was below them but darkness.

"They're just...gone." Said Bull.

"They can't have just vanished into thin air." Replied Dorian. Cullen didn't trust his voice to remain level so said nothing.

"Actually, that's not a million miles away from the truth. Did you see the green light?" Solas and the others had caught them up, "The veil is thin here, The Inquisitor must have opened a rift. I believe they're in the Fade."

"What do you mean 'in the Fade'?" Asked Dorian, "As in physically?"

"It's not that unbelievable is it? The Inquisitor walked out of the Fade at Haven after all." Solas continued with a raised brow and increasingly annoying composure.

"But to go there physically, to actually _be_ there! The last time that occurred we created dark spawn."

"Or so The Chantry would have us believe," Solas continued, "As improbable as it may be, it's the only logical explanation, where else could they be?"

"He's right." Cullen hadn't take his eyes from the spot he'd expected to see Ellana's body crushed on the rock below, but the sound of Cole's quiet voice made him whirl around. He sounded frightened.

"You can hear her?"

"Yes." Cole said simply, "She needs me. It feels far away, like they're under water." He paused, closing his eyes to help him concentrate before his voice took on a slightly more ethereal lilt, "I didn't mean to bring you here. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. We were falling. I just didn't want you to die. This wasn't supposed to happen. What if we can't get back? They need me. I should have kissed him again. I need to save them. It's all my fault. I'm sorry. No, no, hide it, don't let them see."

 _I should have kissed him again_ , Cullen's throat closed.

Dorian reached out a hand, touching Cole on the forearm, "Enough." He said softly.

Cole met Cullen's eyes, "She's scared. And I can't help."

With every ounce of willpower Cullen had left he took all the emotion that was threatening to drown him and pushed it down as hard as he could and let the Commander in him take over. If Ellana could wear her mask, he could wear his.

"The hell you can't! Solas?" he barked, "They went in through a rift, does that mean they'll exit through one too?"

"Theoretically yes. But the chances of them actually-"

"There's a fade rift downstairs. That's where they're going to come out. We're going to have this fortress cleared of demons by the time they come back through."

"But-"

Cullen took a threatening step toward Solas, "Did I stutter or did I just give you an order? We did _NOT_ do this for nothing! Am I understood?"

"Hell yeah!" Bull roared, already heading for the stairs. Cole hung back, he looked up at Cullen beneath the rim of his oversized hat,

"The mask. I don't know what it is. But it's getting heavy." Cole turned away before Cullen could think of an appropriate reply. Weapons were drawn and magic crackled as they rejoined the battle.

The chaos of the roof had only worsened in their absence. Demons were everywhere, Inquisition forces and The Grey Wardens could barely keep up with the endless waves being spat out of the fade rift. Cullen stopped on the bottom step, taking in the scene. He turned to Ellana's companions that were grouped around him,

"Vivienne, Sera, find high ground. If you see any of our archers take them with you. Rain hell on everything that's not one of ours." Sera whooped as they headed into the crowd, "Solas, Cole, help the wounded. Heal those you can, get barriers up. Protect the people." They hurried off to do as he ordered. Cullen glanced at the nearest soldiers before taking a scout by the arm, "Soldier, take three men with you, go find Krem and The Chargers, they were in the entrance hall. Tell Krem they're to work their way through the fortress floor by floor until he reaches the roof. There's a cask of Tevinter ale for every floor they clear." The scout gave a salute before he too vanished into the mass of people, "Dorian, Bull, you're with me. Let's show these Grey Wardens how it's done." He withdrew his sword, the forces parted for them like a tide and they headed for the front lines.

"Inquisition! Shield wall!" Cullen called over the sounds of battle, all around them shields were drawn in unison, "Interlock. Mages and archers, back ranks!" The ranged troops fell back, leaving the warriors to push back at the demons, forcing them into the centre of the room.

"Draw!" He ordered, arrows and spells soared over the warriors, hitting the trapped demons at the centre, "Right flank, left flank, pincer formation!" Slowly but surely they pushed the demons back to the rift. The fighting was hard and vicious. For a while it seemed that every time they cut a demon down two more took it's place, but the soldiers persevered. With every step forward they took more demons fell under their blades. Once they'd formed a circle a cheer went up around the line, the demons were finally surrounded. Their numbers finally began to drop, new demons were being spewed forth from the fade rift but they were now within a manageable number. As long as they could time the waves they could switch the warriors at the front, allowing them breaks. A tired soldier was a dead soldier, and Cullen had no intention of allowing any more death today. With a satisfied nod Cullen fell back with Dorian and Iron Bull. Summoning his lieutenants he assigned each of them a section of the circle and ordered them to rotate the men at the front of the line. The Grey Wardens had been left leaderless and were more than happy to take orders from Cullen, and he certainly wasn't going to turn down help offered to him at this point. Injuries dropped and they were able to sustain a rhythm to deal with the waves coming from the rift.

Krem and The Chargers finally arrived, boasting of the kills they'd made. The demons spread throughout the fortress had been vanquished so the fighting was now isolated only to the roof. Of course, with no way to actually close the rift, there was only so much they could do. _Ellana will get them back through soon,_ he repeated to himself.

He, Dorian and Bull had just cut down a wave of demons when an Inquisition soldier addressed him with a salute,

"Sir. We have Magister Erimond. He's alive and conscious, barely. We need to know what you want us to do with him."

"Show me." He ordered. Dorian and Bull followed him and the soldier to where they had the magister tightly bound and gagged. Cullen looked down at where he lay in disgust. This man had caused the suffering and deaths of men and women at a scale that Cullen could barely fathom. He'd almost single handedly desecrated the Grey Wardens and now, thanks to him, Ellana and five others were trapped in the fade. Part of him roared for retribution and to immediately demand the man's head but the solider in him knew better. Ellana would want to deal with him herself. He had to admit, he was rather looking forward to it.

"Keep him tied and gagged and transport him to Skyhold. He's to be under the constant supervision of the Inquisition's Templars. The Inquisitor will judge him when she returns. I doubt she'll be merciful." He looked Erimond directly in the eye and decided to indulge the non-soldier part of himself, just a bit, "If he moves, if he so much as thinks about trying to escape, you have my permission to kill him. It doesn't need to be quick," Cullen pretended to think for a moment, "There's plenty of darkspawn around here, maybe they're hungry." The anger in Erimond's eyes was quickly replaced with fear.

"Yes, sir." The men replied, dragging Erimond away. Cullen was in no doubt his threat had been enough, they'd have little trouble with him.

"Damn, Commander," Bull said from behind him, "You're as scary as the boss."

"He makes a good point you know," Dorian said with a grin, "Have you two tried just _telling_ Coryepheus to go away? You could do that glare you're so good at."

"Hell no," Bull replied, "That monsters dead, it just doesn't know it yet."

"Let's take care of it's demon army for now then, shall we?" Said Cullen, leading them back to the rift. _Ellana will get them back through soon._ He repeated in his head. _Please, Ellana, where are you?_

Varric came through first. Then Blackwall, Cassandra, a short delay, Hawk. Then nothing. Cullen breathed in. For years nothing happened. An age. An eternity. Then she fell through. Cullen breathed out. They were covered in gore and grime with a host of new injuries but they were back. Minus one. Stroud wasn't with them.

Springing to her feet, frantic violet eyes flew around the roof until they settled on his. For that brief moment she was just Ellana, _his_ Ellana, before her Inquisitor mask fell back into place. It was cracked and broken but it was there. Cullen wondered how much more punishment it could take. He'd taken half a step forward before he could stop himself. She gave a tiny shake of her head and he halted, letting her take in the scene. Cassandra had been forced to grab Dorian by the arm to stop him from running over. With a gesture she sealed the rift behind her and every head turned as the last of the demons fell. It took his breath away. _This_ was The Inquisitor, radiating a confidence and leadership that couldn't be argued with. And yet she had been self conscious of her magic to the extent that she thought it would prevent him caring for her. She had squeaked when he'd kissed her. Then kissed him back. The two sides to her were as different as night and day. Yet Cullen found himself falling in love with both.

The Inquisition looked overjoyed, The Wardens wary. Ellana looked furious. Hawk exchanged a few words with her before moving off to stand by Varric and Ellana addressed The Wardens.

"Warden Stroud is dead. He gave his life to save us all and deliver a blow against a servant of the Blight. We will honour his sacrifice and remember how he exemplified the ideals of The Grey Wardens, even as Corypheus and his servants tried to destroy you all from within."

One of the remaining Grey Wardens stepped forward with a salute, "Inquisitor, The Grey Wardens stand ready to help make up for Clarel's tragic mistake."

Even from a distance Cullen could seen the fire flash in her eyes. He'd been wrong, she was beyond furious.

"Told you she was scary." Bull mumbled from behind him.

"Tragic mistake? Summoning a giant demon army was _not_ a mistake. Using blood magic was _not_ a mistake. One man called this madness and you branded him a traitor. That was _NOT_ a mistake. You chose to do those things, all of you chose it. For too long The Grey Wardens have been allowed to take what they want in the name of fighting The Blight. Been told that the path you choose doesn't matter as long as you have victory in the end. If your path is painted red by the blood of the innocent then it is not a victory. Stroud understood that."

"But, Inquisitor, we have no one left of any significant rank, what will we do now?"

Ellana thought for a moment before taking a deep breath, trying to calm herself. When she spoke again her voice was more level but somehow more commanding,

"Warden Stroud died believing The Grey Wardens were a force for good. I'm giving you one last chance to prove he was right. You can join The Inquisition. You're still vulnerable to Corypheus, and possibly his Venatori, but there are plenty of demons that need killing. However, if you join us, you're agreeing to do this our way. This "all that matters is the goal and fuck the consequences" thing is not how The Inquisition works. The world has enough monsters, it needs heroes. It needs you to become that. And if you can't, then you will leave southern Ferelden. Those are your options. So Grey Wardens, you tell me. In war victory and we are still at war. Do you believe The Wardens can still help? Was Warden Stroud right? Can you be what the people need again?"

A thundering cry went up from The Grey Wardens, "Thank you your worship. We will not fail you."

Ellana nodded once at the Warden and stepped down from the dais, striding toward the stairs. She met Cullen's eyes and gave him the barest of nods, he fell in behind her. Looking towards her companions with a tilted chin they did the same. Without another word they headed back through the fortress. Grey Wardens and Inquisition forces saluted and bowed as they passed. Ellana acknowledged them all but didn't slow down. Cullen had to admit they probably made a pretty intimidating sight, just eleven of them including him but they were a force to be reckoned with. Humans, elves, a dwarf, a qunari and their Inquisitor. Maker forgive the person stupid enough to challenge them.

Ellana marched them straight out the gates and to their camp. Theirs was set up a short distance from the soldier's allowing them a bit of privacy. Without being asked Dorian waved his hand at the camp fire and flames immediately started crackling. Tankards were passed into eagerly awaiting hands. Nobody had spoken yet, but the stricken looks of those that had come through the rift didn't need words to be understood. Whatever had happened was bad.

Ellana waited until everyone was seated before she began to speak, "Well this has been an eventful evening to say the least. I can't even try to understand everything that happened but I'll explain the best I can..."

Ellana laid everything out for them, with a few comments thrown in from Cassandra, Varric and Blackwall. Everything from meeting the spirit, or whatever it was, of Divine Justinia to the fear demon. She spoke calmly with her nervous hands clamped tightly around her tankard. The fact that The Grey Wardens had had a hand in the Divines death took Cullen by surprise and was almost enough to make him question her decision to let them join The Inquisition. Almost, but not quite. Under The Inquisition they could rebuild themselves into something better, he wished the Templars had gotten that chance.

"...Stroud stayed behind, Hawk offered but he insisted. I tried to-" She cut herself off, shaking her head "It doesn't matter. He stayed and you know the rest. The Grey Wardens will be joining us. We'll divide their forces among several areas. Knight-Captain Rylan tells me Griffon Wing Keep has been having trouble with darkspawn so we'll start there. But that can all be discussed and settled tomorrow. It's been a long day. You've all proven yourselves once again, I'd say I'm proud of you, but to be honest, after today it doesn't seem like enough."

"You could just buy the drinks boss?" Said Bull with a grin.

"Done. Nobody pays in The Heralds Rest for a week." Ellana replied with a grin of her own.

"I've seen this new grip for Bianca..." Varric started, making everyone laugh as they began making their own suggestions.

"Ugh, fine. Write me a list." Ellana said with a chuckle, getting to her feet. She patted Varric on the shoulder as she passed him, he acknowledged her with a wink and loudly encouraged the others to make more and more extravagant requests. Dorian grabbed her hand as she passed and pulled her down for a hug. Varric had the others so engrossed in their conversation they didn't even notice when she stopped next to Cullen, he was pretty sure that was the dwarf's plan.

"Got a minute?"

They made their way through the camp in silence, heading for his tent. It was huge, embarrassing really. He'd practically begged for a standard tent, The Inquisition wouldn't hear of it, but Cullen was momentarily grateful for the extra space as he held the front open for Ellana to walk through.

She turned on her heel with her arms crossed over her chest the moment he stepped inside, "I suppose you have questions?"

He knew he probably should. _You let The Wardens join us after everything they did? Can we trust them? Do we tell The Chantry about the Divine? Do we tell The Inquisition that your mark wasn't a blessing from Andraste?_

 _I should have kissed him again._

Right now the questions didn't seem all that important.

With two long strides he covered the distance between them. One hand found her face, fingers sliding into her hair, the other at the small of her back drawing her to him roughly as his mouth claimed hers. Her small hands gripped the fur around his cloak as she raised onto her toes to kiss him back. Her kisses were hot and desperate, setting every nerve in his body aflame. The emotions he'd been battling all day surged back to the surface, he gripped her tighter. Taking her full bottom lip into his mouth and relishing her gasped moan when his tongue swept across hers. With a restraint he didn't realise he was capable of, he forced himself to slow down, lest he lose his mind completely and ravish her mere feet away from an entire army. He gentled her, soft, languid caresses of his mouth on her cheeks, her jaw, her neck before tenderly taking her lips again. He felt the tension run out of her as she melted under his hands. They were both panting a little when Cullen pulled away just far enough to rest his forehead against hers,

"Never do that again."

"Really? Because you seemed to rather enjoy it." He huffed a laugh before opening his eyes to find hers already open and watching him. He'd long since discovered her use of humour as a means of defending herself. It was as much a part of her armour as her leathers...or her Inquisitor mask. The mask that was getting heavy.

"That isn't what I meant." Without breaking the contact of their foreheads he ran a thumb along her cheekbone and watched, fascinated, as the humour fell from her eyes and she let her defences down. That she did this, that she dropped the mask, trusted him enough to let him see what was behind it meant more to him than he could possibly describe. She looked vulnerable and Cullen felt his heart squeeze.

"It fed on their fears, Cullen. Maker, there's so much fear." Winding her arms around his neck she pulled her head away to bury her face in the side of his neck.

"I was scared today," She admitted in a whisper he barely heard,

"I know," he whispered back, "So was I." He tightened his hold on her, bringing her close and allowed her to take what strength she could from him. She'd come back to him this time but he couldn't help but wonder what else would happen before they were through. They still had a long way to go.


End file.
